Whew! That was stressful.

November 25, 2008

Now I know why most people don’t pick up their whole lives and move to New York City.  It’s very stressful.  The reason I haven’t been blogging is because to recap stressful times on my blog while they’re happening only seems to compound my feelings.  

There were moments in the past month when I thought the whole move to NYC might blow up in my face.  At one point I had to seriously evaluate what my options were if this move to NYC didn’t pan out for me.  My housing situation proved to be by far the most stressful aspect of the move, but I have settled into an apartment with one roommate.  

Chris, a reader of this blog, sent me a great link: www.housingmaps.com.  It combines Craig’s List with google maps.  Very convenient and not just for finding a place in NYC.  Before I moved out here a friend of mine told me how difficult it is to find a place to live in NYC.  He made it sound almost impossible.  I’m happy to report that it is possible, although I underestimated just how hard it would be.

As for finding the right roommate situation…  The only thing I can liken it to is going on one blind date after the other.  You think it’s a good fit, the other person doesn’t.  The other person thinks it’s a good fit, but you don’t.  You both think it’s a good fit, but external circumstances beyond everyone’s control prevent it from going further.  And those scenarios say nothing for how you feel about the apartment you’re looking at, those were just the roommate feelings.  Very difficult.  Very unpleasant and draining.  But when you find a good fit…the world is right again.  

Also, I’ve gained a new appreciation for Utah and the quality of life there.  I know that there has been a lot of negative energy going Utah’s way with the Prop 8 stuff, but when it’s all said and done it’s a beautiful place with many incredible people and a high quality of life.  Keep in mind that I liked Utah before I left it, and my appreciation has still grown.  

I can’t write much more tonight, and I hope to expound on many of the things I’ve touched on in this post in the future, but for right now I will conclude with just two more thoughts:

-I really miss my friends and family back in Utah, especially my family.  Not to diminish my love for my friends, but friends can be made anywhere, your family is who and where your family is, period.  And no matter how close I get to any of my friends, and I have some very close and very incredible friends, my family knows and loves me in a way that only they can, because they’ve known me and loved me longer than anyone.  

-The other thing I will mention is a recurring thought that I have had repeatedly over the last month, and especially frequently since moving into my apartment (the point at which I actually started to feel like I was living in New York and not just like I was visiting).  I am living one of my dreams, one of my greatest dreams.  And that’s a pretty incredible thing.  Especially when you consider the countless number of people that aren’t in a position to make their dreams come true, people whose energy and day-to-day existence is consumed by their efforts just to survive. I guess it’s fitting, what with Thanksgiving being this Thursday, that I’m feeling so thankful.


Making the Rounds

October 4, 2008

I’ve been doing my best to make the rounds with people before I leave on the 14th.  This has meant coffees, lunches, and dinners with people.  I’m sure I won’t be able to see everyone before I go, but that might be a good thing because it’s really depressing.  Afterward I just feel sad that I’m leaving these people.  Not that I saw many of them on a very frequent basis, but at least they were close.  

I know a lot of people, but the number that I consider to be friends is much smaller and the number that I consider to be close friends is smaller still.  I do think that moving away will really shake off the dead weight, although it sounds horrible to say that.  I think that those friends that want to stay in touch will, but many will be too busy.  Not that that is a bad thing.  We all have to prioritize our time and divide it among the people we want to spend time with.  One of things I do though, is every so often I will go through my phone and call people I haven’t spoken to in awhile to check up on them and see how they’re doing.  

One of the things I’ve noticed about friends that have stuck with me over the years is that, no matter how close we are geographically, they always call me back.  They may not call back the same day I call them, or even the same week or month, but they do eventually get around to calling back.  Of course, these calls I’m making aren’t emergent in nature, that would require a quick call back, they’re just an effort to stay connected despite time and space.  I think it’s important to stay connected to the people you care about, especially if you are about to move across the country where you hardly know anyone.

An interesting article in the NY Times:

Newcomers Adjust, Eventually, to New York


I need a job.  I need an income.  I need a place to live in NYC.  But I also need to keep my priorities in order.  

It’s been an interesting balancing act, sometimes more of a struggle, not to get wrapped up in the less important aspects of my life right now.  Finding a job and a place to live is important, but not as important as the people in my life.  I need to exist somewhere in between securing my future in society and maintaining my presence with those who will make any future worthwhile.  

I have a very good friend who recently became so wrapped up in the completion of his education, the search for a new job and a new home, and the process of relocating across the country that he couldn’t be bothered to show up at a BBQ/Goodbye Party thrown for him by one of our friends.  I felt like I was tossed aside in the wake of his relocation as did, I think, some of our other friends.  I tried to explain to him before he left that his life was not back East where he’d secured a job.  Surely someday soon his life will be there, but at that moment his life existed here in Salt Lake.  And he was leaving it for good.  But I don’t think I communicated what I was thinking very effectively.  

I’ve been mindful to make an extra effort to see certain people before I totally relocate to New York.  I’ve been scheduling dinners, lunches, and coffee with friends at every possible opportunity.  It would probably be much easier to pull away from all of that though.  To withdraw in an attempt to make the inevitable separation somehow less painful.  But I think it will be of greater benefit to me in the long run if I am able to find balance in the reality that I am leaving without leaving before I’ve actually gone; To remain emotionally present while physically preparing to separate.

The First (Real) Post

August 1, 2008

Well, I have been wondering when I should transition over to my new blog from my old blog.  Should I wait until the day I actually pick up and move to NY?  Should I wait until I am actually living in New York?  Or should I just start now? 

It seems sort of fitting that I conclude my old blog with the passing of my nursing boards, seeing as how I started that blog shortly before being accepted into nursing school.  And passing my boards is really the last major hurdle before I am actually able to get a job and move.  Of course, there is a part of me that thinks I should wait until I at least have a job and maybe a place to live in New York City before I really launch this blog.  But I believe those things will come in their own time.  My life is in transition so it seems somehow fitting that my blogging should be as well. 

I am currently not Protean in NYC but Protean in St. George, Utah.  I have come back down to stay with and help out my sister.  Once New York State officially issues me my nursing license I will more actively search for a job.  I do feel quite a bit of apprehension about finding a job I’ll like, but I feel even more apprehensive about finding a place to live that I’ll like.  I’m still fairly unsure how to go about finding a place to live.  People recommend Cragslist but that seems like a highly inefficient means of finding a place to live.  If you know of anywhere or anybody looking for a roommate, let me know.