Women and Children (and Men) First

August 13, 2008

I need a job.  I need an income.  I need a place to live in NYC.  But I also need to keep my priorities in order.  

It’s been an interesting balancing act, sometimes more of a struggle, not to get wrapped up in the less important aspects of my life right now.  Finding a job and a place to live is important, but not as important as the people in my life.  I need to exist somewhere in between securing my future in society and maintaining my presence with those who will make any future worthwhile.  

I have a very good friend who recently became so wrapped up in the completion of his education, the search for a new job and a new home, and the process of relocating across the country that he couldn’t be bothered to show up at a BBQ/Goodbye Party thrown for him by one of our friends.  I felt like I was tossed aside in the wake of his relocation as did, I think, some of our other friends.  I tried to explain to him before he left that his life was not back East where he’d secured a job.  Surely someday soon his life will be there, but at that moment his life existed here in Salt Lake.  And he was leaving it for good.  But I don’t think I communicated what I was thinking very effectively.  

I’ve been mindful to make an extra effort to see certain people before I totally relocate to New York.  I’ve been scheduling dinners, lunches, and coffee with friends at every possible opportunity.  It would probably be much easier to pull away from all of that though.  To withdraw in an attempt to make the inevitable separation somehow less painful.  But I think it will be of greater benefit to me in the long run if I am able to find balance in the reality that I am leaving without leaving before I’ve actually gone; To remain emotionally present while physically preparing to separate.

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